127 – Zero Days Without An Accident

StudioWelcome Back Allison
After a bit of a break, we’re back with Allison…sort of.  After 3 ½ hours of trying to set up Skype, Tommy and Alex were finally able to set up a call with Allison, who abandoned them for a better life in L.A.  Though they couldn’t play music or sound effects, the show marched on.  Allison catches us up on her new life in L.A., “Emilie Knows Everything”, and how she smashed her BF’s car.

Tommy vs. the 1lb. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
Tommy had nothing to do Saturday night, so he decided to eat a 1 lb. Reese’s peanut butter cup instead.  Allison and Alex start to feel sorry for Tommy as he tells the tale of conquering the 1 lb. beast.  Allison meanwhile has some issues with a panic attack in a port-o-potty, all while meeting her BF Seth’s friends for the first time.

Alex Is Engaged
Yeah… Alex of all people is engaged.  Tommy doubts this is the one that will last, and oddly enough, Alex agrees. Find out why the engagement almost didn’t happen and how it was actually the SECOND time he proposed to her.

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126 – Dumby

Alex Kills HefLos Angeles
Yeah… he jinxed him and now the world’s most famous Playboy is dead. Before Alex wrongly tries to justify how he didn’t kill Hef, the NDY crew gets lost in reminiscing on the great dating shows including: Girls Next Door, Flavor of Love, and Rock of Love. After reading about a then 80 year old Hef’s “sex” rituals, one great question arises: Would you sleep with your idol knowing that they had slept with thousands of people before you, with a good amount having been un-protected?

Weirdos Love Alex
Tommy subjects himself to some hang-out time with Alex, despite knowing that weirdos come up to them every time they get together, and true enough, this time was no different. After Alex suggests a super expensive restaurant, they get some gelato afterwards and the fun begins. Today’s saga includes: Alex being invisible to an old man, creepy “gangstas” loitering in front of them, and Alex’s awkward response to a short-skirted Latina that goes down as one of the most cringe-worthy moments of all time.

Good-Bye Allison
Sadly, Allison is leaving us and moving back to LA. Before she goes though, a VERY drunk Allison makes some incredible confessions and comes clean on a lie she told Tommy and Alex a few episodes back. Then she closes out her in-studio tenure by providing a 27 SONG PLAYLIST that she thinks commemorates her time on the show. After adding a few songs themselves, Tommy and Alex wish Allison a proper good-bye.

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125 – Bosom Buddies

bosom buddiesTommy & Allison Workout
After starting off with a brief recap of great 80’s sitcoms (Saved By the Bell, Busom Buddies, Full House) and Billy Joel quotes, Tommy discloses that he’s seen Allison four times in this week. Tommy “tricks” Allison in to going to the gym with her and then “tricks” her into eating fast food. Find out if Tommy had the “lunk alarm” pulled on him and why they both still can’t walk without pain.

Alex vs. Amal The Awful Comedian
As it turns out, one of the comedy shows Tommy & Allison visit together happened to be hosted by Alex’s ex-best friend Amal. Tommy and Allison drive Alex insane all weekend by convincing him that they found his ex-friend REALLY FUNNY and had become friends with his nemesis at the show. Then, to Tommy’s dismay, Alex breaks into an impromptu Sadman about how Amal hurt him “more than any woman ever could,” and how they became arch enemies. Plus, we have actual audio of Amal bombing during his set!

Allison’s Birthday Recap
Last week Allison went into a bit of a frenzy after her LA boyfriend didn’t wish her a “happy birthday” soon enough during the day for her birthday.  Alex recaps what happened after the show last week, and you won’t want to miss this follow-up.  After Tommy and Allison call out Alex for criticizing his girlfriend’s eating habits, the NDY crew gets into a debate about the best way to tell someone they’ve “put on a few pounds”… Alex fails miserably by the way, it’s fantastic.

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124 – It’s My F**king Birthday

ass eatingHappy Birthday Allison!
It’s Allison’s big day, though she’s a bit out of sorts, as her new love interest has neglected to wish her a happy birthday, instead sending her a text asking if she’s seen Star Wars or not. Since it’s turning out to be one of the worst she’s had, Alex drives the screwdriver in a little deeper, and inquires about Allison’s worst birthday stories, and she has some GOOD ones.

Allison’s Tweets
For her first birthday tweet, Allison (@trainwruck) discloses her dismay to the fact that her ex-boyfriend never asked to “eat her butt-hole out”. She’s also relieved that even though Alex tweeted that the listeners should tweet her dick picks, she didn’t receive ONE! The segment goes into a detailed discussion on the polite way to broach a subject with a new person you’re dating, supplemented by advice from show friend Tyrone Thompson.

Alex’s Nickname At Work
Adding on to the seemingly endless list of nicknames Alan has, Tommy reveals that he received a text from Alex’s girlfriend with a NEW nickname that he received at work. We won’t wreck it for you on the summary, but this one might stick, much to Alex’s chagrin. Also, a medical debate on whether or not you can poop while taking Tylenol PM, and Allison reads a love compatibility horoscope for Tommy & Alex.

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Grapefruits Of Wrath

auntie angel grapefruitOur Integrity and Underage Girls
The show starts off with Alex’s Uncle Vinny calling in. Uncle Vinny owns and teaches at a cooking and joke school (Joke U University.) After the call Allison feels the need to prove to our listeners that we have “integrity” by clarifying a mistake that we made last week regarding Kelsy Grammer’s daughter, Alex takes the conversation in a really uncomfortable direction – what is the appropriate age to note when an underage actress is going to grow up hot? Their answers might surprise you, and you MIGHT get some crazy sex fetish stories from Allison too.

Grapefruit Blow Job
With all due credit to our Podcast friends Tom & Dan, we couldn’t resist putting our own spin on the “Grapefruit blow job” video. This video is disturbing to say the least, but after a brief critique and discussion on what WOULD be fun things to try in the bed (hint, not a grapefruit), Tommy makes his own remix to the now famous Auntie Angel video.

You’re the Worst, Weddings and Dating in NOVA
There’s a new season of “You’re the Worst” and the NDY crew could NOT be happier. The new season takes an interesting direction to say the least. Tommy discloses that he managed to go to dinner and not have to pay a cent AGAIN. Allison recaps a wedding, and what it’s like to date in NOVA, and Tommy and Alex have tickets to go see the new IT remake… INTEGRITY in Podcasting!

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122 – Are We Still Doing This?

bleachBleached Buttholes
After a brief trip to LA, Allison expresses how much she missed Tommy and Alan too! To commemorate her return, the crew jumps right into a heavily debated topic… should a woman bleach her butt-hole, and does it make a difference? Alex tries to deny receipt of a package containing the coveted Tom & Dan beer, however he fails as usual and Tommy plays him a voicemail from an upset “Rage Against Tweet” who is upset his gift went un-thanked.

Taylor Swift
Believing that they’ve discovered “the second best song of 2017”, Allison remarks how she is in LOVE with Taylor Swift. Alex, not knowing any new musical act that’s released in the past 20 years, shocks everyone by declaring he’s never heard a Taylor Swift Song. A shocked Alison then goes into DEEP discussion on why Taylor Swift is the best musical act of all time. Not to be outdone, Tommy & Alex then counter with what they belive are the best “Miller-Boyett” sitcom songs of all time. Who will win this battle of bands?!

Tommy hates you (yes, you!)
Tommy has just lost it with incompetent people and can no longer tolerate ANY of them. As it turns out, while Tommy is going into detail about the people he hates, Alex ALSO had a run in with the idiocity of the very same people, and a “Chunks” story ensues. The rest of the show is jam packed, but if you want to hear about Allison’s foot fetish, her run in with the famous in LA, Alex making a pig of himself while out with Tommy, and what to expect in a male gym locker room, well you’re weird… but you’ll also be entertained.

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121 – Hot Dumpster Juice

Tarzan BoyAlex Sings & the Best 80’s Songs
Tommy and Allison’s favorite song, “Playing with the boys” is featured again, to Alex’s dismay. Tommy has audio of Alex singing the song. Alex tries to throw in some of HIS favorite 80’s songs, but they don’t go over so well. It’s then that Tommy reveals Alex made his OWN version of “Playing with the boys”.

Allison Has a Four Day Long Date
For once on the show, Alex isn’t the one with the horrible date story. Allison went on a four day “date” that reeks of a “sadman” novel. Ironically “playing with the boys” started the whole downward spiral of a tale that involves: being told not to drink, being told what to eat and a boat. Find out if she gets a second date.

We Improve Reality TV & Tommy’s Workout Playlist
After a brief discussion on what a proper dating reality show involving your ex’s should be like, Tommy and Allison discover that Alex attempted a spin class. Though he got off the bike for 10 minutes of it, he CLAIMS that he “killed it”. After getting frustrated with Alex, Tommy gets bored and starts playing his workout playlist, while the NDY crew discusses proper etiquette at the gym. (Note, do NOT attempt to talk to Allison when she’s on the machines)

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120 – Nip Rip

Matty DanzaAllison Has A HUGE Announcement
Allison takes a moment to share something very personal with the audience. Trying to recap it with mere words can’t do it justice. Unfortunately, Alex overreacts in the typical Alan fashion. Plus, pick the “Summer song of 2017!”

Tony Danza’s Brother & Soft Porn
Alex apologizes profusely to Eric & Stacey, Tom & Dan, Samantha, LGeezy and others after Tommy makes him feel guilty for not Tweeting. Allison is shocked to learn that the REAL reason he’s not tweeting is because he’s obsessed with Soft Porn on HBO (Alex claims it’s that Twitter is blocked at his work, but we all know it’s soft porn). Alex reviews one of the “films” he watched in excruciating detail. Throughout the tale, we find out that Allison was hit on by a celebrity’s brother when she was in LA. She’s a “great dancer.”

Would you rather
To Alex’s dismay, Tommy has brought back “would you rather,” even forcing Alex to write some of his own. It’s during this segment where you discover how twisted this trio is. Play along at home, here’s a preview: Giving up sex to marry your favorite celebrity, burning children alive to gain wealth or fame, and which way to die… This segment is sick, enjoy!

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119 – Playing With The Boys

playing with the boysAlex is a Jinx
Tommy starts off the show by explaining all of the things Alex has jinxed over the years, including sadly, his new God-Daughter. Appalled, Allison starts regretting her decision to come back to the show.

Tommy’s New Obsession
Tommy needs some serious female advice from Allison. He has become obsessed with a song, but it worried how women might view him for listening to it. To make matters worse, he does some research and finds out WHY the song originally became famous in the 80’s. In addition to a ton of insults about him, you also get to hear Tommy sing.

Allison Has Trouble on the Bus
Allison randomly decided to take a shady bus to NYC. Why was it shady you ask? Well, for starters there’s a gentleman in the back row doing something incredibly disgusting – for FOUR HOURS.

Alex Has a Boyfriend
Alex still is trying to befriend the homeless he passes by in D.C. He bought one of them a gift this week. It doesn’t go well. Plus, he went out to lunch with a “male friend,” and all hell breaks loose when a family at a nearby table start commenting on Alex and his lifestyle choices.

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118 – CrossFit Shorts

crossfit shortsTommy Hates People
Allison is out at a bachelorette party and Tommy asks, “why would she be celebrating her friend making the worst decision of her life?”  Tommy discloses that he’s actually just annoyed with people in general, except a woman he met earlier in the day during a dog walk – a woman he made a TERRIBLE first impression on. Naturally, he internet stalked her and now knows her entire life. This leads to a VERY important conversation about the best types of shorts women can wear.

Alex vs Cyclists
Alex has a verbal altercation with several cyclists, that escalates quickly, resulting with one cyclist in the middle of the street on the ground. It doesn’t end there. Find out why Alex had to go to the police station.

Alex got a new job recently in downtown Washington DC.  He decides that he’s going to make friends with all of the homeless people he crosses on his way to work. Tommy thinks Alex is nuts, but Alex INSISTS the bums are out to get him.

Alex’s New Dog Walker
Alex gets a new dog walker, but based on the notes he leaves after his walks every day, Alex and Tommy aren’t quite sure about his mental stability. After doing some brief internet stalking, the birth of a new phone character is upon us, and he can’t quite get his “personality” down, you won’t want to miss our newest fan.

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