Category: podcast

139 – Crazy Butthole Sunday (Dick Mountain)

Allison Wruk BoobsButtholes & Nipples
Allison starts off the show with a cold open reading of some actresses obscure daughter for Women’s appreciation month. After butchering the quote, Tommy & Alex turn the conversation to something more entertaining: Buttholes & Nipples. After a riveting debate on what makes an attractive butthole and nipples, Alex loses it, as Tommy plays a few audio “testimonials” on how the Tommy Smug Mug has changed their lives.

Tommy & Vanessa pt. 2
After declaring his love for a woman he met on Instagram, Allison and Alex prod Tommy for an update on how things have progressed since the show. They don’t seem to be going well as Vanessa is barely texting Tommy. Even worse for him, Allison and Vanessa are going on a “date” this week, leaving Tommy in a deep depression and state of confusion.

Letters to Tommy
Tommy trudges on, with a brand new Letters to Tommy! In this edition, Tommy is asked why being assertive in the bedroom can be a good thing. Afterwards, the NDY crew delves into the deepest details of their most unorthodox sexual encounters – including the strangest places they’ve had sex, and you’ll be surprised who has the most unusual story. And for desert, the NDY crew gives you a helping of advice on how to cheat in college, without getting caught. Ethical!

138 – Bisexual Backstabber

HeartTommy Is In Love
Tommy starts the show off angry at Allison. He claims he’s in love with a woman that he met via Instagram that lives in LA. He made the mistake of introducing her to Allison. Tommy is worried that Allison will “swoop in and turn her,” as Allison has a proven track record of turning the ladies in Tommy and Alex’s lives bi. Alex is further horrified to learn that Tommy actually created a mix tape for his crush – which brings nothing but ridicule from Alex and Allison.

Eric and Stacey
Alex loses it, as he finds out that one of his favorite podcasts, Eric and Stacey, made a shrine encasing one of Tommy’s “Smug Mugs.” To make him even angrier, Tommy plays audio from their podcast where they mention that their lives have increased exponentially, since receiving the mug. Alex goes on a classic rant, and can’t believe how far the “smug mug” movement has gone.

Allison Offends Joe Rogan – Tits Up, Teeth Out
Trying to keep her streak of disrupting the “Emilie Knows Everything” podcast alive, Allison passes by Joe Rogan and manages to offend him. Allison, is apparently also a hot mess after insulting random people at a horse race, and presents Tommy and Alex with THE WORST, ABSOLUTE HORRIBLE “Would You Rather” in show history… it’s REALLY disturbing. Plus, Tommy and Alex give some behind the scenes info about female fans in radio – which then disturbs Allison. WHAT A GREAT/TERRIBLE/OFFENSIVE SHOW!

137 – DJFK (Live from LAX Airport)

LAX podcastDJFK
Allison is going to Vegas, and forced us to podcast even though she’s squatting in a restricted area of LAX to Skype in.  Oddly enough, Allison hasn’t run into any celebrities, even though it’s Oscar night.  It may have to do with the fact that she’s dressed like Indiana Jones wearing John Lennon glasses.  Allison, DID have a run in with DJ James Kennedy, and we can safely mark off another celebrity on Allison’s “Harassment Bingo” list.

Alex Is Having A Son
Allison has a horrific dream, involving Phyllis, Alex, and a baby…. yeah, it’s not a scenario anyone in the world needs to have happen.  Alex gets livid at the prospect of having a child, and Tommy points out how angry Alex has been lately.

Mouth Gono
After Allison hangs up to go live the rock star lifestyle, Tommy and Alex take the show into a dark corner, and discuss STDs and how they are becoming immune to modern medicine.  Tommy and Alex further delve into the dark by imagining what the world would be like with a brand new STD.  And taking a COMPLETE plunge into the abyss of misery, Tommy describes why he’s hesitant to get into a relationship, and he makes some good points.

136 – The Most Annoying Sound in the World

newspaperCaptain Black
We start the show with a special open dedicated to Allison, and fitting because Allison got drunk AGAIN and destroyed another podcast hosted by the talented comedian Emilie Hagen. Not to be outdone, Alex embarrasses himself at the Captain Black DC premier. He upset several of the actors and crew from the movie which resulted in them giving him the look of death. Plus, we recap how embarrassing Allison was at the LA premiere where she constantly harassed writer, director and star Jeffrey Johnson for his phone number. And of COURSE Tommy is perfect.

Alex steals Tommy’s life
Speaking of Tommy, he believes that Alex is trying to steal his life. Alex started taking yoga classes, started getting back into wrestling, got a dog, watches all the shows he suggests, and Tommy is convinced Alex is trying to become him. Alex tries to repay the favor by getting Tommy a date, with a random girl he met at yoga class… even though neither had never met this girl before, and Tommy isn’t even in the class.

Tom the Dom
The female fans of NDY have a theory going that Tommy is a Dom. Warning – Tommy says some pretty gross things in this segment. Alex gets upset that the women don’t talk about him, to which Allison suggests it’s because he’s a sub, or a cuck. Alex then goes into a creepy discussion of why he enjoys cuck porn, and tops it off with an impromptu Sad Man Diary, requested by the listeners as to the famous “Newspaper” story. Be careful what you ask for.

135 – A Bunch Of Fat Dudes With Beards

Comedian Sarah RocheAllison Embarrasses the Podcast and Herself
What a fun show. Comedian and podcast host Emilie Hagen had the gross misfortune having NDY cast member Allison Wruk on her podcast. Allison got wasted before the podcast, slurred her words the entire time and belligerently YELLED over another guest. Sound clips you ask? OH YEAH, we got lots, and a TON of new sound bites for the show. We usually expect this behavior from Alan… errr, Alex.

Sarah Roche
Talented local DC comedian Sarah Roche joins us in studio. Allison and Sarah are friends from the DC Comedy scene. We talk to Sarah about a lot things including “stand up comedian” sex. Plus, she gets a gift that angers Alex. Plus, we relive ONE of the times a woman cried while having sex with Alex. If you want to know what’s it’s like to be a stand-up in the DC area, and where Sarah thinks you should get your steak fries from, THIS is the segment for you.

The Newest Pro Wrestling Fan
After being forced to watch a live WWE Smackdown event in DC, Alex becomes hooked on wrestling again like it’s 1998. Tommy encourages Alex to subscribe to the WWE network, and they plan out how to make it to the Road to WrestleMania show coming to Fairfax, VA. Special shout out to Alex’s newest obsession Carmella.

Interview: Jeffrey Johnson Star of Captain Black

Jeff Johnson Captain Black the MovieInterview with Jeffrey Johnson
The show tries to pull it together and act professional long enough to interview an award winning director. Jeffrey Johnson wrote, directed and stars in the movie Captain Black.

The movie has a huge twist that we do not spoil. The premise behind the movie is that Jeff plays an average restaurant manager that develops an interest in a comic character named Captain Black. He gets invited to a Halloween party and attends the party dressed as his new hero. He then finds himself in a relationship that maybe shouldn’t have happened. We don’t want to spoil the major twist, nor do we want to spoil the anxiety inducing ending. A drama with some major laughs, all three loved this movie.

We had a great time talking to Jeff… and Allison may be leaving her boyfriend for Jeff as she kept hitting on him the entire interview. Tommy also forces Jeff to talk about his role on the USA Network show Burn Notice – mainly to talk about the awesome Bruce Campbell.

Check out Captain Black and this interview, if for no other reason than to hear Allison embarrass herself.

Follow Jeffrey on Twitter & IMDB and Captain Black on Twitter, Facebook and the Captain Black official site.

134 – Alex Gets A Gift

Smug MugAllison Is A Horrible Girlfriend
Earlier in the year, Allison was disappointed that her boyfriend didn’t wish her a happy birthday first thing in the morning (even though they were on opposite coasts). To get back at him, for his birthday, Allison decided to get drunk in front of his friends, and wake him up early in the morning to set up her recording equipment, OH and still hasn’t told him happy birthday.

Smug Mug
Tommy and Allison, never content until driving Alex insane, decided to produce the first Not Dead Yet merchandise. Unfortunately, it’s a mug featuring Tommy giving the “Buddy Christ” pose. They each separately designed separate Tommy mugs, and the results send Alex into a rage.

I, Tonya
Tommy and Alex give a brief synopsis and review of I Tonya, which the saw over the weekend. They marveled at the comedic ability of some of the actors, some of which had very unique looks. Which brings up a great question: How do the casting directors recruit for roles that require humiliating fat or ugly actors. Tommy delves into this issue, by discussing one of his favorite shows from the great F/X show, Nip Tuck, to provide a CLASSIC example.

133 – Sethsther

Allison At The MarchEsther Wruk
Though Tommy & Alex THOUGHT they had all the equipment for the show finally up and running… they did not (THANKS ALAN!) and the show intro is botched AGAIN. Allison chastises Alex for his botch-up, and he realizes that Allison is eerily similar to the main character from Freeform’s new series, Alone Together. Tommy agrees with this observation, and Allison’s status as “Esther” is cemented, after she recaps her experience at the women’s march, where she made protesters move out of the way… to get a better picture of herself.

Show Merch
To Alex’s chagrin, Tommy and Allison INSIST on making the first show merchandise feature Tommy giving the Buddy Christ pose on T-shirts and coffee mugs. The idea was spurned after Alex’ GF hung Tommy’s photo in the recording studio to piss him off. Allison recaps her first few days at her new job, and also receives some “helpful” advice from a stranger.

“The Alex”
Whenever someone tries to take advantage to make quick money and fails, that’s just bad luck. Whenever someone tries to do someone a favor, and ends up losing money, THAT’S called “The Alex.” Tommy and Allison get quite the laugh, after Alex recaps trying to do something nice for show friend Geoff. Geoff insists that Alex owes him money, and Tommy and Allison agree, sending Alex into a classic Corolla rage.

132 – Alex the Kitten Killer

AlexAllison’s Dry January
The first episode of the New Year doesn’t quite get off to a start. It’s a very weird show that gets off to a slow start. After spending quite a bit of time working through technical difficulties, the NDY crew is a bit cranky, ESPECIALLY Alex, who as Tommy declares, “got a new pet.” That pet being a rodent of some sort trapped in his walls. Allison reveals that she hasn’t had a drop of alcohol since the end of December, and Tommy & Alex insist that her “secret ingredient” to being funny is gone.

Dear Abby
After reading a “Dear Abby” advice column, Allison decides she wants to hear our opinions on a very saucy relationship situation. Of course, Tommy and Alex turn the segment around COMPLETELY and Allison doesn’t seem to like the direction they take it.

Star Trek Wars
We need your help!  Honestly, we do. We need you guys to tell us where we can get GOOD steak fries in NOVA. After a brief argument on Red Robin’s endless fries, the NDY crew gives up, and just moves on to porn talk, mainly why anyone would pay for U-porn’s premium service, and how much cam-girls actually make. Allison reveals her crush for Adam Driver, and Tommy takes this opportunity to discuss his favorite movie “Star Trek Wars.” Alex gets frustrated as Tommy and Allison confuse 3 different TV/movie franchises, and his futile attempt to set them straight.

131 – Galax The ButterBall

DC Comedy ShowAllison’s Stand Up Comedy Show
After a bit of a rough start to the show (shocker right?) Tommy and Alex delve right in to their experience at Allison’s stand-up show on Wednesday night. It was an all woman show, and after Allison’s set… well, we won’t spoil the surprise here, but the night was filled with horrible Shakespeare jokes, a snoozing audience member, and most importantly, Alex’s doppelganger shows up with an “interesting” twist.

The DC Metro
The DC public transit system is world renown for being horrible. Allison experiences first hand, what happens when the Metro, and “Chunks Luck” collide, on a very memorable late night trip home. After recapping her night, Allison winds down by singing some of her favorite songs on air.

Alex the Voice Over Artist
Usually, Tommy is the cast member that receives the most compliments from listeners. However, Alex FINALLY gets some positive feedback on his voice, and of course he takes this as an opportunity to exploit it. Alex asks Tommy and Allison for help, as he reads off copy from well known brands in order to impress his new fan. Tommy decides to “liven” up Alex’s reads a bit, and even gives him some special copy that he wrote specifically for him. Happy New Year!

Not Dead Yet © 2017